Time Traveling for Dummies
by yokainomiko
Summary: There's a reason why only Byakuran travels between dimensions. Poor Francine has no idea what she's getting herself into. Placed right before the Arcobaleno Arc. Fem!Fran Attempted Fem!Fran27 All27 Chapter 4: Plot actually happens.
1. Prologue and Chapter 1

Title: Time Traveling for Dummies  
>Series: Katekyo Hitman Reborn (KHR)<br>Pairing/Characters(s): Fem!Fran and basically everyone else All27  
>Genre: RomanceHumor (Romance is in attempt only)  
>Rating: PG-13T  
>Summary: There's a reason why only Byakuran travels between dimensions. Poor Francine has no idea what she's getting herself into. Placed right before the Arcobaleno Arc. Fem!Fran Attempted Fem!Fran27 All27 Chapter 1: Francine is a woman on a mission and no one wants her to complete it<br>Word Count: 1188  
>Notes: Francine is from a world that I want to write about one day. Think about that for a moment. Also, I wrote this as a favor to a friend who hates Fran. I am indifferent to Fran, but I can hate Francine. So let's see where this goes.<p>

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><p>Prologue:<p>

If anyone asked Byakuran what the hardest part of moving horizontally through time was, it would be actually matching the times.

The Vongola had it easy. They moved vertically through time. It meant that they were always on the same path, just different parts of it. But because they could move the paths up and down at will, it made it hard for Byakuran to wind up in the same spots on two different paths. It's actually where his clairvoyance came from: trying to move one dimension to the right, but moving one to the right and forward twenty years.

Yes, if someone asked him about dimension traveling this is what he would tell them. But no one asked him.

End Prologue

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><p>Chapter 1:<p>

Francine considered herself to be a very attractive young woman. She deserved the guy of her dreams and nothing less. For God's sake! She was French and everyone knew the French people were the best at romance. That bit about Italians being better lovers was a complete and utter lie.

Today was the day. The day Francine would finally seduce Sawada Tsunayoshi and the beginning of her plan to become the wife of the Vongola Decimo.

Provided his stupid guardians didn't crotch block her again.

The green haired maiden gathered her mist flame and carefully convinced everyone nearby that she wasn't there at all.

She changed her outfit into something a little more form fitting with a pair of sexy boots. Of course she was just wearing her normal clothing, but a few illusions never hurt anyone, right?

Francine had timed it perfectly. Her master and that annoying Cloud were out on an important mission and everyone else was too weak to stop her illusions. It was enough to make her jump in glee, if she did that sort of thing.

She knocked on Tsunayoshi's door and when she heard a faint "come in" entered the room and quickly turned the lock.

"Who is it? Oh, Francine? What are you doing here?" Tsunayoshi asked from behind his desk. "The Varia meeting isn't for another week and I'm sure you know that Mukuro and Chrome aren't around right now."

Francine internally sighed in relief. She'd forgotten all about Chrome. Lesser person and all that. "Don't be like that Vongola," she said without any intonation at all. "I came all this way just to see you."

She then moved to sit on his desk and very slowly uncrossed and crossed her legs.

No response.

Quickly changing her boots into pumps, she asked, "So is there anyone new in your life?"

Tsunayoshi replied, "Well, the Cavalli family is finally considering allying with our generation. About time too. Both of his kids have been part of the Vongola Tenth Generation for over ten years now."

"That's nice," Francine said, not even bothering to hide her lack of interest. "But I meant romantically."

"On no. I mean, who'd date Dame-Tsuna?" he sheepishly asked.

"Well, I could think of a person or two," she replied. "Oops. My shoe came off," she added before slowly bending over to pick it up, making sure her miniskirt rose accordingly.

"Uhm, Francine, your clothes seem kind of…"

"Kind of?"

"Well, small, today. Did Levi try to do laundry again or something?"

Francine resisted the urge to scream. What a dumbass! She wanted to shriek at him and then tear off all of his clothing.

Instead she took a deep breath and started Plan C: raep time.

She whisked away everything on the desk using illusions.

"Wha? Francine what are you doing? Reborn'll—" he was cut off by a push onto the desk.

Francine climbed on top of him and as she straddled him, seized one of his hands and stuck it on her breast.

Just then the office door was broken down and two very angry women stood in the doorway.

"Hibari! Mukuro!" Tsunayoshi yelped.

"Herbivore," Hibari Kyoko snarled. "Explain."

"Kufufu," Rokudo Mukuro laughed. "That's unnecessary. It's obvious that my little student has gotten it into her head that Tsunayoshi-kun is public property." Her mismatched eyes narrowed and glowed with an eery light. "We need to fix that idea of hers."

Hibari needed no other prompting before slamming her tonfas in Francine's direction. She managed to roll off the desk just in time, but the desk was not so lucky.

As Tsunayoshi tried to climb out of the wreckage, Mukuro dispersed the illusions on the floor and the rest of the guardians quickly rushed into the room. They were too late to see any action, but the scantily clad Francine covered in handcuffs said enough.

"For failing to protect Tsunayoshi, I will bite you all to death," Hibari said before attacking Sasagawa Ryoko.

"Extermely unfair!" she cried as she blocked the tonfas. "You know how awful I am with illusions!"

Gokudera Hanako was livid. "Who the hell do you think you are to be able to seduce the Tenth?"

Francine scoffed. "You're just jealous that my breasts are bigger. Did you know he touched mine?"

"You whore!" Gokudera shrieked. She started reaching into her pockets, but was quickly held back by Yamamoto Takiko.

"Now now. I'm sure that Tsuna wouldn't have done such a thing willingly." Her smiling eyes took on a sharp edge. "After all, we all know that she's using illusions to make them bigger."

Before things could escalate further, Tsunayoshi had had enough. With just enough flame in his voice he commanded everyone to stop and they did.

He rubbed his forehead. "Okay. Now that things are quieter. Mukuro, Hibari, report."

Mukuro grinned. "Oya oya, it's so nice to see you all assertive," she cooed seductively. When his expression didn't change, she sighed. "Fine, you're no fun today. I'll just have to blame a certain intruder for that." She quickly glanced at her protégé. "I'll take care of that later. Anyway, we found something good."

"Oh? What?"

"This," Hibari said as she pulled a box from her pocket. "It's the dimension traveling device used by Byakuran to help him focus and move his mind between worlds. Technically it can only be activated by Byakuran, but we believe we can make modifications to make it work with the Ten Year Bazooka."

Tsunayoshi smiled brightly. "That's great! Where is Lambo anyway?"

The others shrugged but they quickly found him running into the office screaming, "Reborn hit me Dame-Tsuna! Make him stop!" Too impatient for an answer, Bovino Lambo pulled out the Ten Year Bazooka.

"Lambo! It's facing the wrong—" Tsunayoshi was too late as Lambo was too trigger happy for his own good.

The box in Hibari's hand started glowing the same moment as the round went off and it made the smoke thicker than ever. Once the pink gas faded, Gokudera asked, "Wait, who got shot?"

All the present guardians were the proper age.

"Hiiiieee! Francine!" Tsunayoshi shrieked before turning to where she had been handcuffed before.

In her place was a ten year old boy with green hair and wearing an apple hat. He stuck his pinky up his nose and started picking it.

"So who the hell are you losers?"

Tsunayoshi fainted.

End Ch.1

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><p>Author's Notes: So this is my first actual attempt at a multi-chaptered fic in years. Wish me luck! Also, final pairing has not been decided. At the moment there isn't really a plan to have one. I'm openish to requests I guess. I dislike R27 though so don't request that.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Time Traveling for Dummies  
>Series: Katekyo Hitman Reborn (KHR)<br>Pairing/Characters(s): Fem!Fran and basically everyone else All27  
>Genre: RomanceHumor (Romance is in attempt only)  
>Rating: PG-13T  
>Summary: There's a reason why only Byakuran travels between dimensions. Poor Francine has no idea what she's getting herself into. Placed right before the Arcobaleno Arc. Fem!Fran Attempted Fem!Fran27 All27 Chapter 2: Tsuna can't do anything right.<br>Word Count: 1620 (2808 So Far)

* * *

><p>Chapter 2:<p>

Tsuna was having a bad day. Now this wasn't anything new for him, but it felt like a particularly bad day if that made any sense. First of all, Chrome was still super depressed about Mukuro's weird letter and she wouldn't talk about it at all.

Then Reborn started beating him for not taking care of his subordinate correctly and no matter how many times he said it, Reborn wouldn't believe that Tsuna didn't want to be a boss. Just because he didn't want Xanxus to rule or that he promised to protect the Vongola Rings and their part of the Tri-Ni-Sette or that he promised to change the Mafia World for Enma and Mukuro didn't mean that he was going to be the leader of the Vongola! Even Nonno understood that!

Oh who was he kidding? Everyone knew that he was going to be the Decimo. It wasn't like Reborn would ever let him get out of it and he did make all those promises. It's just, did everyone have to be so mean to him about it?

Anyway, Tsuna had a new mission. He was supposed to go to Kokuyo Land and try to figure out why Mukuro told Chrome he didn't want her anymore. It didn't make any sense to him. His hyper intuition told him that he still cared about her, even if it was in an oddly possessive and manipulative way. As far as Tsuna could tell from his past encounters with Mukuro, that was the only way he _could _care.

But yeah, Tsuna was terrified. He thought that he'd at least get to take Gokudera and Yamamoto, but Yamamoto had been skipping too many practices because of his injuries and Vongola things and Gokudera got knocked unconscious after blowing up part of the Reception Room in his rage at Yamamoto's "negligence." Ryohei was watching Kyoko and Chrome in case Mukuro was waiting for a chance to pull something, and Lambo was unreliable as ever. Tsuna knew better than to even consider bringing Hibari. On the off chance he didn't refuse and bite him to death, he would definitely attack Mukuro.

Tsuna was going to ask Enma to go with him, but then Reborn attacked _both _of them because this was a Famiglia problem or something. Tsuna didn't pretend to understand.

All that mattered was that he had to go by himself to Kokuyo Land where it was scary and dilapidated and there was no doubt in his mind that he was going to leave after making a fool of himself and probably catching a strange disease from a rodent.

He walked past the buried menagerie and tried to remember which way to go when he heard a voice.

"Oya oya, it seems that the little Vongola has gotten lost."

"Hiiiiiiieeeeee!" Tsuna shrieked. "M-Mukuro! W-what are you doing here?"

"Kufufu, shouldn't I be asking you that question? This is my territory, not yours."

"W-well, Reborn said—"

"Kufufu, don't bother. I know what this is about. This is about Nagi, right?" Mukuro asked.

"Nagi?" Tsuna's observation skills outside of battle weren't the best, so he never noticed what Mukuro called Chrome.

Mukuro smiled. "My representative. She is very cute and calls you, Boss?"

"Oh, uh, yeah, it's about Chrome."

"I have nothing to say to you about it. If Nagi needs more information then she knows how to contact me herself."

Tsuna trembled. Large amounts of pain were in his future. "You can't talk to me at all? There's nothing I could do to change your mind?"

"Well," Mukuro started. He eyed Vongola speculatively. "There's something you could do for me."

"I can't give you my body!"

"Kufufu, I promise you would enjoy it."

"No means no Mukuro!"

"Fine. Spoil my fun."

Tsuna fidgeted in place as Mukuro continued to stare at him.

"There is one other thing you can do."

"Uh, okay. Will it hurt?"

"Physically? Probably not."

"What is it then?" He didn't get the impression that this was something that he wanted to do, but as long as it didn't hurt…

"I've recently gained another apprentice. He's rather unruly. If you can at least take him out of my hands outside of his training I will be more… receptive… to taking Nagi back and depending on how competent you are, I will consider being helpful the next time my services are required." Mukuro explained.

Babysitting didn't sound so bad to Tsuna. It's not like he could be worse than Lambo, right? "Sure, that sounds fine. Deal."

Mukuro smirked and Tsuna's hyper intuition went crazy. "I'll go fetch him then."

A few minutes later Mukuro came back dragging a ten year old boy wrapped in rope.

"Is that?" Tsuna asked.

"Yes, that's right. It's the future Varia member, Fran." He handed the rope to Tsuna. "Don't bring him back. If I need him then I will retrieve him myself. No matter what happens to him, he is still your responsibility." Mukuro glared fiercely at Fran. "Behave. Listen to the Vongola-slave."

"Pfft, like I'm going to listen to someone so weak willed. And besides his hair looks like a bird nest. I don't need any strange creatures wandering around me." Fran replied.

Mukuro laughed. "Kufufu, you have your work cut out for you Vongola. Now leave. My good humor is leaving."

Tsuna didn't know how to reply. So he decided not to. He started walking back to Namimori. "Hi Fran, I don't know if you remember or not, but my name is Sawada Tsunayoshi. You can call me Tsuna." He paused. "I'll be your babysitter for a while. Fuuta is around your age, so maybe you two will get along. Won't it be nice to spend time with someone your age?"

"Is he French?"

"Uh, no, I think he's Italian, but he has a Japanese name so I've always been too afraid to ask."

"Coward. And no, I don't think that I will be interested in spending time with him." Fran slipped out of his ropes. "I might as well go with you though. It's been boring around here anyway."

Tsuna blinked. "Uh, Fran? Are you racist?"

"Of course not."

He sighed in relief.

"I hate everyone. French people are just more tolerable than others," he dully stated.

The lack of tone from such a phrase unnerved Tsuna, but there wasn't much he could do about it.

They reached the bus stop and Tsuna realized that he needed some sort of an explanation to justify why yet another kid was moving into his house. Maybe Nana would be so busy worrying about him after Reborn beat him near death that Fran's presence would just be accepted?

Fran was bored out of his mind. He really hoped that someone fun showed up soon or else he was going to have to start making his own fun and that always required too much effort.

At that exact moment a familiar pink gas flooded his vision and he was quickly whisked somewhere else.

"Hiiiieeee! Ten Year Bazooka!" Tsuna shrieked. "What am I going to do? I didn't even know Lambo was nearby! I don't want Mukuro to kill me before I've even had Fran for an hour!"

The gas dissipated and in Fran's place was a green haired woman. Her clothes were similar to what Ten Years Later Fran wore and when Tsuna realized this he had a horrible sinking feeling in his stomach.

"Hm? Where am I?" she asked before looking around the area. "Oh, I'm in Kokuyo. I suppose Master must be messing with me."

"H-hello?"

"Yes? What is i—" she cut herself off. "Vongola?" She sounded shocked.

"Uh, yeah?"

"You're not twenty-five."

"No, I'm fifteen. Is your master Mukuro?"

Francine blinked. "Of course. Are you alright? What happened?"

"I think you got hit by the Ten Year Bazooka."

All emotion left her speech. "That makes sense. This would be about the time that I started my formal training." Her eyes brightened. She couldn't miss this opportunity!

Her voice lowered and she quickly used some mist flames to appear as attractive as possible. "While I'm in the past, wouldn't it be nice to spend some… private time together?"

Tsuna was a little weirded out by her change in octave while staying completely deadpanned. He didn't know how to let her know that she wasn't where she thought she was in the first place. Well, she was, but she wasn't? Tsuna was confused.

"Aren't we alone right now?"

She placed her hand on his chest. "I was thinking that we could be doing something else in a less… public area."

Tsuna had no idea what was going on. Luckily the bus showed up right then. He tried to move to get to the door, but Francine pushed harder and pinned him onto the bus bench.

"What are you—" he started to ask right as the door opened.

Before she could reply there was a loud scream.

"Who the hell are you and what are you doing to the Tenth!" Gokudera screamed while pulling out dynamite.

Yamamoto was right behind him and his sword was already drawn. "Is there some kind of danger? I knew I should have skipped practice."

"Back off! It's the right hand man's job to keep petty gold diggers away from the boss!" Gokudera yelled. "I'm sorry I've failed you Tenth!"

"Right hand man? But…" Francine trailed off. "You're not Vongola's right hand man."

Gokudera was ready to commit murder. Only Yamamoto's quick thinking saved her. He quickly had Kojirou pour rain flame infused raindrops over Gokudera and the flames instantly calmed his fighting spirit.

"No fair," he grumbled.

"Kojirou?" Francine's eyes widened marginally at the display. "Who _are _you guys?"

End Ch.2

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><p>Author's Notes: At the moment, I'm going to call Tsuna, Tsuna when referring to him in current time and Tsunayoshi when in the future, but I might change my mind. To me it's more of a maturity thing. For the zero people reading this let me know your opinion.<p>

I hope people find this funny. It _is_ supposed to be crack after all... Uh, and yeah, updates should be about once a week here. I post the chapters as I finish them on lj so go there if you're impatient. And for now at least, I'll upload bonus chapters for every ten reviews. I'll let a random person in the set of ten pick the topic.

Tell me if you find any typos. I do my best, but I'm not infallible.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Time Traveling for Dummies  
>Series: Katekyo Hitman Reborn (KHR)<br>Pairing/Characters(s): Fem!Fran and basically everyone else All27  
>Genre: RomanceHumor (Romance is in attempt only)  
>Rating: PG-13T  
>Summary: There's a reason why only Byakuran travels between dimensions. Poor Francine has no idea what she's getting herself into. Placed right before the Arcobaleno Arc. Fem!Fran Attempted Fem!Fran27 All27 Chapter 3: Tsuna's day is not getting better.<br>Word Count: 1370 (4128 So Far)

* * *

><p>Chapter 3:<p>

"So it's not just you then?" Tsuna asked as a gut reaction.

"Tenth?"

"Tsuna?"

He could hear their confusion in their voices, but he didn't know what to tell them just yet.

"What's not just me?" Fran dully asked.

"Are my storm and rain guardians women years from now?" Tsuna finally managed to ask after stumbling verbally a few times. He was so embarrassed to ask a question like that, but nothing else really made sense.

Francine resisted the urge to frown. She had been doing that a lot lately. "Of course. All of your guardians are women." Why did that sound wrong to her? Whatever, it wasn't important. "But you should know that already."

Despite being soaked in calming energy, Gokudera still managed to snarl, "What do you mean all of Tenth's guardians are women?" It probably didn't help that Yamamoto's aura was swirling in quiet unrest as well.

"Gokudera-kun! Calm down! It's not her fault!" Tsuna yelled. He didn't know what was going on today, but he needed to say _something _to ease the situation. "She's not wrong!"

That was apparently the wrong thing to say because Yamamoto and Gokudera quickly visibly slumped. "What? You're planning on replacing us?" Yamamoto couldn't even force a smile. "But I—"

"Yamamoto I'm not getting rid of you." Tsuna quickly spat out. Why was he supposed to be a leader? He was awful at talking to people. "You guys are really important to me!"

Tsuna had yelled it so emphatically that Yamamoto couldn't resist smiling very sweetly at Tsuna and he found himself flushing in response.

Francine thought for a moment that she might have a rival, but quickly dismissed the idea.

"Tenth? What's going on here?" Gokudera asked uncharacteristically timid.

"Oh! Uhm, this is Fran?" Tsuna offered.

"Fran?" Yamamoto repeated. "Haha, who's that?" He was still smiling brightly and Tsuna couldn't stop blushing.

Gokudera spared a quick glare in the rain guardian's direction before frowning in thought. "The obnoxious illusionist in the future?"

"Haha, that can't be right Gokudera! That guy was a guy!"

Tsuna latched onto that train of thought before it could run away from him and he couldn't get it back. "No, Gokudera-kun is right. I think that there's something wrong with the Ten Year Bazooka. Fran got hit and then became a girl."

"So she's from a parallel universe?" Gokudera asked. That made sense to him.

"I… think?" Tsuna replied. He fidgeted in place and none of them could resist thinking he was very cute when nervous. "I don't really understand what happened. Maybe Reborn could help?" He asked that very warily. Mukuro would probably be a good choice too, but he really really didn't need to be assaulted by Reborn _and _Mukuro.

Yamamoto and Gokudera relaxed even further. Their places by Tsuna's side were safe and that was the most important thing. They'd take care of the harlot as necessary.

Francine on the other hand didn't appreciate being ignored. Here she was, a hot French woman, and none of the three teenaged boys were paying her any mind. Shouldn't their hormones make them all over her?

Honestly she couldn't care less if those strange boys that reminded her of those horrible women flirted with her or not. She wrote them off as asexual since even gay men should fall at her feet. But it was unforgiveable that they had interrupted her attempted sexual assault on the Vongola Decimo.

Thinking quickly, she grabbed Tsuna's arm and held it tight right in between her breasts. "Vongola? What are we going to do about me going back? It's been over five minutes you know."

Tsuna swallowed and Francine grinned to herself. "Well, we have to wait for the next bus but then we can ask Reborn for help. Maybe Shouichi-kun and Spanner might know something?" Both guys frowned slightly at Tsuna's usage of their first names, but Francine didn't notice.

"There isn't that much room on the bench while we're waiting." She pointed out. At the moment only she and Tsuna were sitting.

Gokudera was quick to reply. "I'll gladly stand so that Tenth can conserve his strength!"

Yamamoto laughed. "It makes sense too since you're all wet. Everyone else would get wet too if we sat with you."

"And whose fault is that?"

Taking advantage of the beginning argument, Fran shifted and settled herself in Tsuna's lap. "There. Now there's plenty of room for everyone."

Gokudera was practically frothing at the mouth. Not wanting to get yelled at again he clenched and unclenched his hands. Finally he asked, "Just what do you think you're doing?" uncharacteristically cold.

Francine stared back at him with her dull lifeless eyes. "I'm saving space. Now you can sit. Aren't I a wonderfully considerate person?"

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say as his self-control snapped. "NO!" he yelled. "You're a WHORE!"

"Gokudera! You can't say things like that!" Tsuna shrieked, too upset to even use a name-suffix. He really really wondered what he did in a past life to deserve this. This was usually the part when Yamamoto tried to calm Gokudera down. Speaking of which, why wasn't he talking?

"Yamamoto?" he asked. "Why aren't you trying to calm Gokudera down?"

"Haha, it's nothing much. I just thought that he was telling the truth." Yamamoto's smile was distinctly creeping Tsuna out.

Luckily, for real this time, the bus showed up and Francine was forced to vacate his lap. She tried to sit on him again after they paid their bus fare but Gokudera rushed to sit next to Tsuna on the bench and Yamamoto none too gently grabbed her arm and dragged her next to him in order to "keep her safe."

As soon as they got off the bus, Tsuna started imagining his death in HD. "Uh, hey, guys? Do you think that maybe we could drop you guys off at your places first?"

"Yes, that would be a good idea. We don't need any tagalongs to your home, Vongola." Francine added.

Gokudera and Yamamoto exchanged a quick glance. "Naw, Tsuna, I think we're going to have dinner at your house. I'll call Dad if you're worried, but I'm sure he'll say it's fine." Yamamoto replied.

"That's right!" Gokudera agreed. "Besides Tenth, we need to be nearby when you debrief Reborn about this situation."

Tsuna groaned. "Don't remind me. He's going to beat me up and it will be awful."

"Haha, don't worry Tsuna!" Yamamoto reassured. He let go of Francine to wrap an arm around Tsuna's shoulder. "We'll protect you."

She took advantage of this to change her top and pants into a low cut shirt and short skirt. "I can protect myself thank you very much."

Yamamoto's eyes narrowed as he glared at her briefly. He quickly smiled again and turned his attention back to Tsuna. "Haha that's really funny thinking that we were talking about you when we obviously weren't."

Tsuna decided that they needed a topic change. Yamamoto was acting really strange today. Maybe this was all a nightmare. Maybe Reborn beat him so hard that he went into a coma and had an intense dream. Maybe Fran or Mukuro trapped him in an illusion.

They got to his house and less than a minute later Reborn kicked in Tsuna's head. "Dame-Tsuna. What are you doing back so late? Maman is worried."

"Ara! Tsu-kun's home!" Nana said walking to the entranceway. "And he has guests! I'll go set the table for dinner."

Reborn's black beady eyes stared into Tsuna's very soul. "So you failed your mission, huh?"

Tsuna reflected on his thoughts at the bus station.

"No, you're not in a coma and there are no illusions."

"Hiiie! Stop that! I hate it when you read my mind!"

"I can't help it that you're transparent."

"Well, I didn't completely fail! Mukuro said that if I took Fran away from him then he'd take Chrome back and maybe be more helpful."

Reborn grinned. His stupid student was finally growing a spine. "Almost good job. But where's Fran?"

Gokudera and Yamamoto frowned. Reborn instantly changed his posture, wary of potential danger.

Francine stepped forward and tugged on her skirt lightly. "Francine of the Varia, at your service."

End Ch.3

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><p>Author's Note: I have way too much fun writing this. This chapter got away from me. As always, let me know what you're thinking and if you find any typos.<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Time Traveling for Dummies  
>Series: Katekyo Hitman Reborn (KHR)<br>Pairing/Characters(s): Fem!Fran and basically everyone else All27  
>Genre: RomanceHumor (Romance is in attempt only)  
>Rating: PG-13T  
>Summary: There's a reason why only Byakuran travels between dimensions. Poor Francine has no idea what she's getting herself into. Placed right before the Arcobaleno Arc. Fem!Fran Attempted Fem!Fran27 All27 Chapter 4: Plot actually happens.<br>Word Count: 2595 (6723 So Far)

* * *

><p>Chapter 4:<p>

Things were not going well for Francine. She didn't know why exactly, but they weren't. Those stupid boys kept calling her stupid names and giving her inappropriate looks and no one let her touch Vongola! The whole bus ride to his house Francine wondered what in the world was going on.

She decided that perhaps Vongola was just shy. He _is _only fifteen now and he's not that great at flirting with women even ten years from now. It probably doesn't help that his guardians would jump him in an instant if he showed even the slightest interest in anyone.

So yes, Francine had now figured it out. And it just made Vongola cuter! Young, naïve, and too polite to take advantage of her. He's such a sweet boy and will become such a wonderful man. In order to avoid overwhelming him, Francine planned a new strategy.

When they left the bus, she pretended that Yamamoto wasn't squeezing her arm enough to hurt. She disapproved of him touching Vongola, but took advantage to change her outfit. With a low-cut shirt and short skirt she would tempt him, while wearing her normal boots made her outfit casual as if it was what she wore on a daily basis. That way he could be tantalized by what he saw without the pressure of knowing that she dressed up just for him.

It was kind of funny to her that despite the fact that this was a parallel universe the layout of Namimori was the same and Gokudera and Yamamoto acted very similarly too.

She was decidedly unsurprised by Reborn's attack on Vongola, but was sick of being ignored. So she introduced herself. She tugged her skirt down slightly; it made her appear more modest and ladylike, and introduced herself. "Francine of the Varia, at your service."

Reborn looked at her with a calculating stare. "At the moment there is no one in the Varia named Francine. There aren't even any women in the Varia."

Francine did _not _appreciate his tone. "I don't know what Varia you're talking about, but most of the Varia are women, or at least act like women. I'm still not convinced that Squalo is male," she snarked. "I'm from the future. I replace Mammon after the Arcobaleno curse is lifted and she decides to spend her time writing books about Vongola's life. They're bestsellers and have been adapted many times. The money never stops flowing."

"Hiiiieee!" Tsuna squeaked. "You're kidding, right?"

"No, it's a very successful manga, movie, novel series, television show, and anime." Francine paused. "She also writes most of the doujinshi to corner that market too. It's quite remarkable."

Reborn kicked Francine in the gut. "Mammon isn't a woman. Who are you, really? I doubt this is some Ten Year Bazooka error."

Francine prepared another response, but Gokudera took this time to intervene. "Reborn-san, Tenth said that he saw a pink gas hit Fran and then we got this… woman."

"Haha, Gokudera's right. That's exactly what Tsuna told us!" Yamamoto smiled. "So the sooner you fix the bazooka the sooner she can leave! Haha and then we can play the mafia game the way we usually do. I don't think I'm liking this level."

Francine smiled at Tsuna. "There's a lot of games that I wouldn't mind playing with you."

"Um, Francine?" Tsuna was still creeped out by how Francine could smile at him while speaking in a deadpan, but at least he knew her name now. "I don't think we should be playing anything. Reborn? I don't know what happened. I didn't even know that Lambo followed me to Kokuyo. There's some sort of parallel universe thing going on."

Reborn smacked Tsuna with a green ping pong paddle. "He wasn't. As a kindness to you, I kept the cow locked in a closet all day. Now I know that my kindness was undeserved. You will be punished."

Tsuna trembled in place in terror. It must have knocked something loose in his brain because he suddenly had an idea. "Do you think Byakuran's involved? I mean, Francine says she's from a world where Gokudera-kun and Yamamoto are women."

"Dame-Tsuna. Has it occurred to you that she's lying? She could be here to assassinate you."

Yamamoto and Gokudera immediately pulled out their Vongola Gear. This was exactly the opportunity they were looking for.

"Hiiiieee!" Tsuna yelled. "You can't do this!"

Reborn pulled his gun on him. "I'll give you to the count of ten to explain yourself."

Francine yawned in boredom.

"Ten."

"I promised Mukuro that I would take care of Fran no matter what happened to him!"

Francine felt her heart pound extra hard at his words. They were spoken so passionately! And to protect her too. She didn't know why she was here, but she couldn't regret it. Not when Vongola was so set on her safety to the point of going against Reborn. If she'd know that he was so sweet when he was younger she would have gotten caught up in a Ten Year Bazooka incident years ago.

"What?" Reborn demanded. "Explain yourself again."

"You told me to go get Mukuro to take back Chrome. He said that if I took care of Fran then he'd consider helping out." Tsuna felt like he said that already. "But he insisted that I had to keep Fran no matter what happened to him. I have to keep my promise! Promises are important!" He insisted.

Francine resisted the urge to grin in triumph over the fact that at the moment she was more important than anyone else. She ignored the fact that he was really doing it for Chrome and Mukuro's sake. That was irrelevant. The important part was that he was taking care of her! And this meant that they would have ample opportunity to get… closer.

Everyone was silent until a crying Lambo ran out of the closet next to the bathroom. Reborn kicked him in the head and he pulled out the Ten Year Bazooka. Yamamoto quickly grabbed it and Gokudera threw Lambo out the window.

Reborn sighed and put down his gun. "I'll call Gianini. It's possible Byakuran is involved so I'll try to find someone who knows something about him too." He glared at Tsuna. "I'm glad that you're honoring your responsibilities to your famiglia. But I detest that you're starting now of all times to do it. _Don't _screw this up."

"Tsu-kun! It's dinner time! Bring all of your friends to the table, please." Nana called out. Tsuna was thankful for the interruption.

They all ate a delicious dinner, but the meal did have a few… awkward moments.

"Tenth's mom! This meal is delicious! You could open up a restaurant and make a fortune in a day!"

"Haha, don't do that Sawada-san! My dad's place would go out of business if you made a restaurant. You'd steal all of the customers in Namimori!"

Nana smiled and giggled. "Oh you boys are so sweet. I'm sure that with words like that there's no end to girls wanting to date you."

Gokudera froze. "Well, there's not really a girl, a someone, that is, I like—" He took a deep breath. "Thank you Tenth's mom, you're too kind."

Yamamoto scratched his head. "I get lots of letters from girls, but none of them are my type." Only Reborn noticed his quick glance in Tsuna's direction. "I'm not going to give up hoping for the right person's attention."

Tsuna looked at both in awe. "Wow, I didn't know you two liked someone. Do I know her?"

Yamamoto and Gokudera quickly looked down at their rice bowls.

Tsuna didn't understand why this created an awkward silence. The boys stared holes into the designs in their bowls. Fuuta continued to eat neatly. Lambo was throwing food at I-Pin, and Bianchi was contemplating buying more goggles or maybe fashion glasses since Gokudera had been coming over for dinner more often lately.

Finally, Nana asked, "Francine, is it?" At the nod she received in reply she added, "What do you think of the food?"

Francine put down her chopsticks. "Passable. I prefer French food. Asian food bores me."

This silence was more than a little intimidating.

The first person to snap, surprisingly enough, was Bianchi. "How could you?" she yelled while pulling out poison cooking. "All you need is love! Can't you taste the overabundance of love in this food?"

"Bianchi-san! Calm down!" It was times like these that Tsuna knew that Gokudera and Bianchi were related. "People are still eating!" It took all of Tsuna's willpower to prevent Bianchi was assassinating Francine then and there. He even almost had to go into Hyper Dying Will Mode.

Luckily Reborn managed to calm her down and dinner finished with a static of distrust and unease. After the dishes had been cleared, Gokudera tried to place things in perspective.

"We don't know very much about this situation," he pointed out. "I think that we should make a list of what we do know and who we know who could help us or be involved."

Reborn nodded. "That's a good idea. Dame-Tsuna go get some paper. Bianchi, when he's doing that go make sure that the brats stay out of our way. Francine… don't, don't say anything."

They rushed to get their tasks done and returned to the dinner table.

Reborn started. "So we know that based off of the pink gas that the Ten Year Bazooka is somewhat involved, but that it isn't a problem on our end because Lambo wasn't anywhere near Kokuyo."

Tsuna nodded. "Yeah, and there's also the problem that it's a parallel universe thing since Fran changed gender and came from a place where there are a lot more women in the Vongola Tenth Generation."

"She could be lying," Yamamoto pointed out.

Francine opened her mouth to say something, but Tsuna cut her off. "I know the Ten Year Bazooka and it was definitely the Ten Year Bazooka after effects that I saw. I wouldn't get tricked by some other pink gas. Besides, my hyper intuition hasn't told me that anything's wrong. Since Fran's gone and we have Francine instead, I think we have to accept that there's something going on. I don't think this is an illusion otherwise Reborn would've seen through it, right?"

Reborn smirked. "Correct. Congratulations on finally recognizing my skill as the number one hitman Dame-Tsuna." He frowned. "That doesn't leave us with much though. The fact that Mukuro gave you orders to take care of Fran, 'no matter what,' implies that he expected something like this to happen, but he may have only been covering his bases. Who else should we talk to?"

"Haha, well, you already mentioned Gianini and Byakuran, right, Kid?" Yamamoto asked. "And Tsuna mentioned Irie and Spanner too."

Reborn actually smiled this time. "You're doing well Dame-Tsuna. We'll make a great boss out of you yet. Anyone else?"

Gokudera took this time to intervene. "I think we need to consider using the Ten Year Bazooka on Lambo or anyone really to determine if our bazooka is keyed into this alternate universe and even if it's not, we could maybe take advantage of the bazooka to figure out what we're researching in ten years that could be related to the incident that causes this."

"Wow, that's such a good idea Gokudera-kun!" Tsuna complimented. Gokudera beamed in response.

"Thank you, Tenth! I also think we should talk to Shamal just in case he knows about a disease that could change people's appearances or something that could have similar effects to the Ten Year Bazooka." He was quick to add, "Not that I doubt you or anything, Tenth!"

Tsuna sweatdropped. Reborn hopped off of his seat. "I think that's enough for now. We have our work cut out for us. I think we should get ready for bed."

"Um."

"Yes, Dame-Tsuna?"

"Should we contact Uni? I mean, she might have had a vision or something about this and could give us an idea of how things will play out."

Reborn paused. "That's not a bad idea, but we should try to keep this as close to the famiglia as possible. That's to be a last resort. Now go home you two."

Yamamoto and Gokudera reluctantly left the Sawada household with promises to be by bright and early the next day.

This left Tsuna in an awkward predicament.

"Uh, Reborn? Where is Francine going to sleep?"

Francine had been bored out of her mind during the useless chatter, but she quickly started paying attention again. "Oh Vongola, aren't I your responsibility?" she asked.

Tsuna very slowly nodded. "I guess."

"So I'll sleep with you!" she exclaimed with actual emotion.

Reborn was very very glad that the boys had already left. Otherwise things could have gotten very ugly very fast.

Tsuna flushed. "You, me, my room, that is," he took a deep breath. "I don't think that's a very good idea."

Nana took this time to come check on her son. "Tsu-kun? Did your friends go home already?"

"Yes, Kaasan."

She looked at the most recent addition to the Sawada household. "Oh, you're still here."

"Yes, I'm currently without a place to stay and I was hoping that you could let me stay with you for the time being." Francine had the proper frame of mind to bow to her. After all, it was important to be polite to future in-laws, comments on cooking don't count.

Nana frowned. "We're out of spare rooms though. Hm, maybe I need to talk to Iemitsu about moving into a bigger home." She clapped her hands and smiled brightly. "But in the mean time you can stay in Bianchi's room! You both aren't too far apart in age and your sizes should be close enough too. I noticed that you don't have any luggage with you."

At hearing her name, Bianchi joined them all as well. "The children are all in bed now. What's this about sizes?"

"Bianchi!" Nana exclaimed. "You wouldn't mind sharing a room with Francine and letting her borrow some clothing for now, would you?"

Bianchi actually minded a lot. Like Gokudera she was actually very much a fashion snob and the idea of anyone wearing any of her clothes disgusted her. She could maybe have tolerated it if Reborn had demanded it of her, but not with this woman. Francine had unfortunately made it onto her shit list and that meant that anything Francine touched was getting torched. However, she did have the proper frame of mind to know that she was a guest too and that she didn't really have much choice. Oh well, at least the newest lines were coming out soon. Now she could justify the new expense.

"It would be my pleasure." Bianchi finally said, smiling falsely and freaking Tsuna out. "We can have the most lovely conversations about love and boys."

Francine completely misread the atmosphere. "I would rather not talk to you. I suppose I could tolerate wearing your clothing, but you have awful fashion sense. I simply must go shopping tomorrow." Francine ignored the fact that she had absolutely no money and forgot that she had decided to be polite as long as she was a guest.

Bianchi gritted her teeth. "Great," she forced out. "Let's go find something for you to wear."

Nana rushed off to find a spare futon as Bianchi and Francine went to Bianchi's room.

Tsuna looked at Reborn. "This is going to go horribly, isn't it?"

Reborn tilted his fedora. "No doubt about it."

End Ch.4

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><p>Author's Note: This chapter wound up crazy long by my standards. Don't expect this often. I just really wanted the story to finally get <em>somewhere<em>. Insomnia is a great motivator. This chapter isn't as funny as others.

Remember that for every ten reviews I'll pick a random person from those reviews (so you can have multiple "entries") who I'll write a oneshot for.


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